I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
