i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
