I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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