wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
