There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
