people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
