I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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