i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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