Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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