If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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