Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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