Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
