Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
