**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
