Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
