It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
