Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
