sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
