I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
