i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
