Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
