he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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