it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
