He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
