Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
