Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
