who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
