it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Randomize
