Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So much Jack, so little girl.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
