yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
