just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
