the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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