I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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