Pappa wants mamma naked
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
