I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
