laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
