she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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