She said her name was "party"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
