i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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