you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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