pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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