Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
