Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
