girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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