and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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