we have officially lost it.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
