I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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