Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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