So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
