one two three fourrrrnication!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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