i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
