I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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